Not My Love

Dear Eric Wellman,
You were never good enough for me. All you do is work on your jeep and play toys with your boyfriends. Not only were you not strong enough for me but you lost to a girl in arm wrestling and tore tendons while doing it. You are like eating cotton candy but then you find out its fiber glass insulation and now your whole stomach aces and itches, just like my heart. You are now getting rejected just like the "C" word.